dictionary.com says “a basic social unit consisting of parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not”.
Most people would take this a step further and extend it to Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. Then some would further extend that to those close to them. People that have comforted and motivated them in times of great peril. People that have nurtured and celebrated them in the discovery of unseen accomplishments.
What are your parameters for family? What are your expectations for inherited family vs. adopted family? Is there a difference?
At this present moment I’m still contemplating my own answers... hoping to be inspired by experience. Hoping to find some answers in my current interactions. Intending to be fair and just; struggling not to be irrational and inconsistent. Maybe some of your reasons will help provide clarity for mine.
1 year later I think I have defined the word ‘family’. Part One: Inherited Family is different from Adopted Family. While they can overlap in relationships, fundamentally they are two separate groups. Inherited Family is the group that you were born with; who you share DNA with. Sometimes this group is closer than anyone to you. However, other times they are just as distant as strangers. Having a strong bond with this group is wonderful because there is genetically a deeper, unmistakable connection that, no matter what, cannot be erased. Adopted Family is the group that you add to your life over time. This is often made up of some of the most genuine and protective people in your life. These are the people you choose. The people who accept the pleasure of being in your life. These are friends, confidants, coworkers, etc. They are invested in your present or future in some way. I am grateful for both my inherited and my adopted family. I am grateful that I have the luxury of experiencing both. My chosen family steps in where my given family cannot. I am always surrounded, influenced and encouraged by family. It’s truly one of greatest feelings in the world. Part Two: I have the same expectations for both groups. Once I have labeled you family, what I expect does not fluctuate based on status. I expect my family to: A) Love me unconditionally and to the best of THEIR ability. B) Tell me what I NEED to hear, not what I want to hear; and allow me to do the same. C) Always push me to EXCEED my goals. D) Be there when I need them and allow me to reciprocate and show gratitude. Not all of my Inherited Family can meet my expectations and that doesn’t make me love them any less. For my Adopted Family however, it is a non-negotiable requirement that must be met.